Ep.16/ 4 Steps to Self-Esteem
TL:DR - You must recognize that buying in to how the world is telling you life ‘should’ be is keeping you in shame. Adjust your thoughts for better self-esteem.
If you are comfortable living in the space of self-judgement, shame, and absolutely emotionally pulverizing yourself to get through life… this episode is absolutely not for you.
If, however, you are ready to learn how to give yourself the gift of grace, self-compassion, and radical self-acceptance keep on reading, because this is for you!
Today we’re how to let go of self-judgement and build up self compassion.
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Pro Tip: There’s no rule book for how to do life ‘correctly.’
So how do you let go of self judgement?
Recognize your accomplishments… without downplaying their significance.
Doesn’t matter if it’s a degree, certification, job or the fact that you have a family, that you’re able to simply get up and take a shower. Your accomplishments are yours, and are worth taking pride in.
Self-compassion hack: give yourself credit for the ‘little’ things, so that you can build up to giving yourself credit for the ‘big’ things.
Internalize the belief that your worth and value is intrinsic and has nothing to do with what you do.
You are priceless friend! Invaluable. You have a place and a space on this earth.
External circumstances have zero to do with the value you bring to this world.
Self-compassion hack: internalize the mantra — ‘I deserve to be here. I’m worthy simply because I exist.’
Recognize (and take for granted) that mistakes are part of the process.
Hate to break it to you, but you’re going to slip up. Sometimes spectacularly.
The more mistakes you’re making, the more your learning. Take pride in the learning you take away from where you mess up.
Self-compassion hack: ask yourself frequently — ‘what’d I learn?’
Life isn’t a competition you’re going to ‘win’ or ‘lose’
The thought that you’re behind, or less than is based in a flawed premise that some folks are ‘winning’ while others of us are ‘losing.’ Not so.
There aren’t a fixed number of medals to be handed out at death that say ‘#1 Human!’ or ‘Accomplished the Most Things!’
Humanity, and life as we know it is qualitative. What is the quality of your presence? The quality of your relationships? How attuned are you to your own needs? What’s the quality of your thoughts, words, and habits on a day to day basis?
These aren’t aspects we can measure.
Self-compassion hack: ask yourself, when you have the thought that you’re ‘behind’ or ‘doing it wrong’ — ‘Who says?’
**Note: nothing in this article or episode is a substitute for medical or mental health advice; please work with a qualified and licensed health care provider in your area.
