Ep.6/ HD BFFs: Deconditioning and Unmasking
TL:DR - Unmasking is a fantastic example of deconditioning in action.
Deconditioning is the entire point of Human Design: it’s a system to help you turn your attention away from what the outside world is telling you and towards what your own inner knowing is. As the process of deconditioning unfolds, it yields joy, ease, fun, energy, and overall more fulfillment and satisfaction with life.
Unmasking is the process neurodivergent folks undertake when they let go of all the ways they’re ‘supposed’ to act and behave in favor of ways that allow them to take care of their unique nervous systems. (note: it is not a privilege everyone is afforded)
In the last year I’ve really come to terms with my own neurodivergence: sensory processing disorder and autism, to be specific. And I’ve been exploring ways I’ve masked as an adult (and child), and unraveling whether or not these ways of being are worth keeping or not.
And in the last week, it hit me: ohmygosh! It’s the SAME thing as deconditioning!
A few examples in my life:
Deciding on entertainment. While altogether ALONE, I realized I’ve been putting in extra energy to pick movies or shows that are novel, because I’m supposed to. Because try something new! and Get out of your comfort zone!
Takeaway: where do YOU self-monitor activities, when you’re alone? You have permission to do it how you want.
Caveat: this doesn’t apply to potentially harmful behaviors (self-harm, substances, etc)
Communication style. Folks don’t get my jokes often, because I have a dry tone and serious face. Can’t help it, #sorrynotsorry. I also have a fairly blunt and straightforward manner when I’m myself. Again, #sorrynotsorry. AND, my Design is such that if I’ve been invited to share feedback with someone, my communication style is a non-issue, whereas if I’ve not been invited… well, let’s just say I’ve gotten in hot water before.
Takeaway: There’s no wrong way, but there is a best way for YOU. And it likely looks a little bit different. Some folks are designed to say what they think always, and some folks aren’t. Both are valid, and taking a look at your prior experiences and your HD chart can be tremendously helpful.
Making accommodations for myself. I have sound sensitivity, bright light that isn’t the sun is difficult, and I get tired because… people. So, I practice closing the door at my office when I can’t handle the sound machines in the hall (which are important to protect the privacy of clients who are there). I wear headphones and turn off the overhead light, always. And I adjust my schedule as needed so that I can s-l-e-e-p and rest.
Takeaway: it can be tough to make accommodations for yourself (and, I acknowledge I’m in a privileged spot just now to be able to adjust so much of my life on a whim). If there’s a different way you could do something, and there’s not a rule against it, and it doesn’t hurt anyone… DO IT!
Also, it’s worth investigating: who told you you couldn’t do things a particular way? Your mom? An old boss? Your cousin? A co-worker? If it didn’t come from you and it’s not going to hurt your bottom line, chuck what doesn’t work.
Overall, deconditioning is really about investigating, one by one, all of the shoulds that have piled up in your life and deciding what stays and what goes. Human Design is simply a tool to help you do that a little bit more quickly and efficiently.
